So just a rundown on what’s been going on and why I’m not posting as much as I used to here:
- The move to Portland has been postponed until next spring (March or April) because we just can’t afford it right now and there are things we have to get before we can move – such as our own car. My husband suggested the delay and I agreed with all of his points.
- Whiskey and Reidar are getting along better. For those who aren’t aware, Whiskey is my terrier mix who’s still in puppy phase – even though he’s 2 – and Reidar is my 9 year old grouchy old cat. I love them both.
- I’m focusing my time between my novel and my attempts to make it as a YouTuber/Twitch streamer. I’m also posting on Tumblr haphazardly. I will be getting back to regular posts here now that I’ve figured some things out.
- Depression. PTSD. Anxiety. These are also issues I’m dealing with now. I no longer have a counselor because they ended my services thinking I was moving this month. Now, after calling, they don’t want to let me back in with my therapist. I have to pre-qualify again, and I’d also have to pay nearly the full price for my sessions. Medicare won’t cover hardly any of the cost. That’s $100/visit, if you’re curious. Not to mention my counselor/the county services (which are the biggest source of psychiatric care) aren’t all that reliable. I’ve had more appointments canceled by them than I ever canceled for myself.
- My brother-in-law is dying. This actually doesn’t bother me as much as you’d think. Mostly because the bastard raped me when I was 18, and then reportedly molested my niece and nephew. My sister ignored all of this and married him anyway. I didn’t like him being around my extremely vulnerable younger sister and now that he’s on hospsice care and not likely to make it to my sister’s 50th birthday…I won’t celebrate him dying in the way he is, but I am relieved that he’s not going to be there to hurt my sister when my dad dies since it’s my older sister who gets custody of her.
- On that note, I’ve realized that – once my dad dies – I’ll lose contact with the rest of my family. And for the most part, I’m okay with that. The older sister in question physically assaulted me on numerous occasions, starting with attempting to kill me (though she and my parents swore it was just a joke) by locking me out of the house when I was 4 in the middle of winter with a heavy snow coming down wearing only my footie pajamas. I was completely numb by the time my parents got back. They punished my older sister and got me warmed up. But she’s done other things like that all my life and frankly, I don’t care to even try to make peace with her anymore. Same with my older brother – he’s psychotic and violent and I want nothing more to do with him. The only person in my family I will cry over losing contact with is my younger sister, who is the only bright spot in my very dysfunctional family.
- Someone sold my cell phone number to a bunch of telemarketers, so now I’m dealing with 10-20 calls a day from various telemarketers and scam artists (no I don’t consider them the same thing). I’ve started answering the calls and telling them to stop calling. It’s frustrating, and apparently my husband is getting the same thing happening.
- I’m still trying to make the shop and the work-from-home jobs work for me. So far nothing seems to be going my way with that, but I refuse to give up.
- The roommate situation is civil again, and we’re semi socializing with each other. As in if we see each other in other parts of the house we chat for a minute. Otherwise they leave us alone and we leave them alone.
- The other property was finally sold, so that money has gone back into our jerk landlord’s bank account. This relieves some tension in the household, but he still wants too much money for the room we’re renting. But we’ll just have to deal with that for now.
- I’ve pretty much stopped drinking all forms of soda/energy drinks and I’ve switched back to water. I still have the occasional wine cooler, but as soon as this last batch is gone, I’m stopping that too. I need to lose weight. I’ve also started walking again and doing my yoga/stretches in the morning.
That’s pretty much it for my life right now. Here’s a couple of added bits of media – a picture of my obnoxious fur brats and the link to the YouTube song (The Hanging Tree sung by Peter Hollens) I seem to be fixated on right now.