Monday maundering

So this should have gone live this morning, but I haven’t been feeling good the past few days so I didn’t actually get this written until just now. I’ve had a wicked headache that’s most likely caused by caffeine withdrawal. I almost completely stopped drinking caffeinated soda (actually soda in general), only having it once in a great while. Recently I’ve started back up drinking it again and it’s messing with my system. So I quit again. Now I have to suffer through the pain until my body finishes purging itself of the caffeine. So yeah, not a pleasant few days.

I honestly don’t have much to say today. My creativity has been devoured by these stupid drugs that don’t even work right, and I’m least a month and a half from getting different ones. The med manager is gone for the entire month of June, which makes things interesting since she’s the ONLY full time med manager in the area. My therapist says if it gets bad enough I can go to another nearby city, but that’s a three hour round trip and I’d rather not if I can avoid it.

I will admit my moods have been easier to deal with, though I’m back to having the issue of wanting to sleep all the time. The Zyprexa really does a number on me. I take it at night because it has the tendency to make people drowsy. I take it and a short while later I go to bed. I’m sleeping through the night now, for the most part. But I’m also groggy and always trying not to fall asleep during the day. That only wears off when it gets closer to the usual time I take my Zyprexa. So it could be causing me all sorts of problems. Then again, I’m not sure it isn’t just my body having issues with the meds. I have a love/hate relationship with medications – either they work great, they stop working, or they work in wonky ways that don’t make a lot of sense unless you know me and my family.

This Thursday is my first individual counseling session. I’ve finally graduated from the four weeks of group therapy. My therapist is going to be the woman who ran the sessions since the two of us have developed a rather thin (at the moment) bond over talking through some of my issues in dealing with the group setting. I have one with her this week and one with her next week, and this week in part will be setting up my June visits with her since she needs more time to figure out how to fit me into her schedule. Hopefully by doing this, I’ll have my sessions on the same day at the same time. She said it’s usually every two weeks, but she’s trying to get me the four visits requirement for med management as soon as possible.

Today’s post is short, but it’s all I have in me to write at the moment. I’ll see about the rest of the posts later. For now, I wish you all a wonderful week.

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