Monday Maundering – Taking chances

So, I tried baking chocolate chip cookies (using Butterfinger Baking Bits instead of chocolate chips) and a new recipe for brownies using cannabutter this weekend. (Yes, it’s legal. I live in Oregon.) The cookies are good, nice and chewy. The only problem with them is they’re flat. Completely flat. They’re supposed to be fluffy. No clue what I did there. The brownie recipe I used did something similar. Instead of raising while baking, they stayed about half an inch thick. No clue what happened there either. Though looking at the picture on the recipe, that may be how they’re supposed to look.

I’ve learned to enjoy cooking. I’m usually in charge of dinner for six adults, though there are nights when someone else takes over. Or I insist we eat the leftovers in the fridge. I will admit I’m not a very adventurous cook most of the time. Spaghetti is something I cook a lot of, though everyone’s getting tired of it. So I’ve started branching out of my comfort zone a little.

I’ve already done a little experimentation before this. There’s my semi-creamy chicken soup where I combined a soup and a stew recipe. I’ve taken cream of mushroom and tomato soup (not at the same time…ew) and buffed them up with things like ground beef, onions, and leftover pasta or rice. I’ve also tried my hand at a slow cooker pot roast. These things came out well received, and the soups I’ve made a few times since I first made them. The slow cooker pot roast was Sunday. It seems to have gone over well.

One of the things I’ve learned from cooking is you can’t be afraid to take risks. I still am, and it’s holding me back with making new things for the house. My fear of taking risks is also holding me back from life. I took a huge (to me) risk seventeen years ago and started dating my husband. I took one when I married him. I took one when I finally admitted that my bipolar was so bad I needed help. But those were big things. There are little things I can take risks on too, but I don’t. I prefer to stay in my little bubble and play it safe.

My husband has been encouraging me to step outside my comfort zone. He’s the one who got me to start experimenting with food. He helps me when I need it and sometimes gives me a nudge. And sometimes he gives me a kick in the ass. Everyone needs someone like that in their lives. Even the biggest go-getter needs backup. (No, I’m not saying a huge go-getter.)

My goal this year is to take more small risks, stretch myself a little to see how much I can grow. I want to see what I can make of my life. I’m starting a little late. I’ll be 39 in May. But it’s not too late until you’re dead.

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